PhilSox Blog: Jim Caple Answers His Own Question

 


Jim Caple Answers His Own Question

I'd never heard of Jim Caple until I stumbled upon his recent "article" on ESPN.com's Page 2. He is asking the pointless question of "Who's fans are the most Obnoxious?". He then goes on to state his belief as an ex-Red Sox fan, that the Red Sox fans who don't bail on the team are the winners of the award.

First of all, Jimmy, I really don't have a lot of respect for an ex-fan of anything. Abandoning your team, especially to root for their main rival, shows an elemental lack of spine and trustworthiness. Now that you have immersed yourself in Italian-American pseudo-toughs with cheesy mustaches and exquisitely monosyllabic vocabularies, your compelled to switch (like all Yankee fans) from chanting cerebral epithets like "1918" and "Who's Your Daddy", to now explaining the the Red Sox Nation has magically transformed from pathetic to obnoxious after one World Series. If this particular "logic" isn't proof of who's the most obnoxious (not to mention pathetic) group of fans, nothing will ever prove it!

So, along with the Sox, who makes for the most hated fan-base? The Yankers, Duke, Notre Dame, Cowboys, and Lakers. So let's see... Notre Dame has 11 national championships (football). The Yankers have 26 World Series. The Lakers have 15. Duke has 3 national championships (basketball). The Cowboys have five Super Bowl rings, and the Raiders have three. Can you follow me on this? How does one World Series since 1918 automatically qualify Sox fans for this list?

Caple goes on to compare Red Sox Nation to the Cowboys claim of being America's Team. I can see why he'd go this route since the only team hated by more people that Dallas would be the Yankers. But the elemental flaw in his logic is the fact that by calling yourself America's Team, you insinuate that the country is behind you and that rooting for others is some how unpatriotic. The term Red Sox Nation indoctrinates or drafts no one. It merely signifies that the fan base extends across the country. Only a fool would argue the geography.

Perhaps the clearest evidence of bias and stupidity is Caple's assertion that Red Sox Nation only exists when they are winning. Considering the total history of the Red Sox franchise, has there ever been a more shocking dumb-ass comment? Ever?

So lets talk about true obnoxiousness. Yanker lemmings complain (at least Jim does) about the playing of "Sweet Caroline" at the Fens like there has ever been anything more trite and nauseating that hearing the late Frank "Johnny Fontaine" Sinatra belt out "New York, New York" after games at The Toilet. Next, I'll mention the fans that truly blend into the woodwork when the falls short. And notice I do not use the words "suck" or "stink". It's been a long time since the Yankers were that bad. But their fans become quieter than Marcel Marceau on a putting green if the Yankees don't win the World Series every year. They also become rather quiet when the subject of the teams maniacal, mentally ill, and monstrously wealthy owner comes up. They live in the past more so than any team with 5 championships in the last decade would be expected to (although that has waned a bit since the whole "1918" thing has become pointless.) They refuse to admit that outside of the 5 boroughs, Yanker fans in the 25 to 35 year old range cease to exist because all of the out-of-town Yanker fans are such for one reason - they jumped onto the band wagon of the hot team (circa 1977 and 1998). How many guys do you know who were middle-school age on 1985 who are Yanker fans? They even have a TV series that explores the dysfunctional 1977 championship team, making total asses out of Billy Martin, Reggie Jackson, and George Steinbrenner, and they love it!
"Yo, did you see The Bronx is Burnin' last night?" says Mikey.

"$#&@ing-A right, I saw it!" says Sal.

"Awesome!" says Mikey.

"$#&@ing-A!" says Sal.

I know that Yanker fans are not supposed to like Red Sox fans. I understand that Red Sox fans aren't supposed to like Yanker fans (don't worry...we don't). But lets stick to realistic arguments about tangible things remotely based in reality. (Perhaps like who was the bigger disappointment, Damon or Drew.) The whole you're-more-obnoxious-than-us thing is A) Not remotely plausible, and B)Whiny and annoying, even as compared to your usual nonsense.

As for you, Jimmy? My mother always told me not to say anything if I didn't have something nice to say, so...

You're a twit, Jim.

Sorry, Mom.

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