Realizing that I stand a chance of getting chastised by many, many of you guys out there, I hesitated at posting this at all. In the end, I had to do. But, as sort of a disclaimer, please accept the following: I still like women.

10. The calendar costs in the neighborhood of $15, and you don't get it, even if you have the expensive yearly subscription.

9. Celebrity guests. Will Ferrell. Great commedian. Not meant for swimsuit layouts.

8. They never take picture in places that I'd like to see these models. (I.E. my hometown.)

7. Half of the bikinis seen are not something you'd ever see at a beach. Lace? What in the world is lace on a swimsuit for, anyway?

6. Half of the bikinis are half bikinis! Again, topless gals are so few in my neck of the woods.

5. Sand. Sand, in general turns me off. Why? One word: Chaffing.

4. Body painting the swimsuits on. When the hell did this become cool? You know what you can't do to a model in a paint bikini? You can't touch her. You know what a model in a painted on swimsuit can't do? Swim!

3. Stupid poses. Not all, but many look like they're posing for the cover of cheap romance novels. Next year they'll probably have Fabio in Will Ferrell's place.

2. 99% of the models are under fed. This is not to say that they're not hot, but come on! Can't we get a model or two with some meat on their bones?

1. They post the prices of the swimsuits. First, who cares? My real issue is wondering what type of mathematically challenged, ego-maniacal twit would buy a bikini that cost that much? The girls would look every bit a hot in Wal-Mart swimsuits. The only one who'd suffer is the village idiot who establishes that $290 for 8 square inches of fabric is reasonable - he'd be out of a job.

Labels: list, SI, stupid, swimsuit, women

This entry was posted on Monday, February 18, 2008 at 2/18/2008 07:08:00 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.